Mom Club with Karen Massoud
Karen Massoud with her husband Kareem, children Katharina and Thomas, and their dog, Buddy. (Photo credit: Karen Massoud)
Should you have the pleasure of meeting Riverhead mother of two, Karen Massoud, you’ll likely quickly learn a few things. She may share that she is the wholesale rep for her husband’s family vineyards, Paumanok and Palmer Vineyards. She may also tell you that she has two children, Katharina, nearly 10, and Thomas, age 8. You may even learn that she is an avid home cook, baker, and dinner party host extraordinarrie (I can personally attest to all three.) But my favorite fact about Karen is that she’s a girls’ girl. Not only does she serve on the Foundation Board at Peconic Bay Medical Center and PBMC's Committee for Women's Health, and is a member of the Les Dames d'Escoffier, NYC chapter, within moments of knowing you, she’ll also become your biggest champion and cheerleader supporting you in all things “mom” and sisterhood.
Join us as Karen shares mothering on the North Fork in our monthly Mom Club, a Q&A with local North Fork moms.
We hope this series inspires you and helps to make motherhood less intimidating, more inclusive, and more connected.
Q: Describe your parenting style in three words.
Karen: Fluid, firm, hugs.
Q: What is your favorite thing about motherhood?
Karen: I can't imagine my life without them. They may drive me crazy, and I do savor my alone time, but I find myself missing them when they aren't near me. I look back on when they were born and recognize all the sacrifices I made with no regrets. I remind myself often that these two littles rely on everything I do to base their actions and emotions on — they are always watching and listening. They made me a better person, and I am so grateful I am their “person” to go to when life gets hard or for the happy moments. My son, the other day, was so fascinated by watching marbles go down his marble run that he built, and I love tuning into that lost art of simple awe that we grown-ups can forget about. So, my favorite thing is that I get to watch them grow up in life, it's nothing short of a miracle, and I am eternally grateful for that.
Q: What is your least favorite thing about motherhood?
Karen: Thinking about this question sends me to the common complaints: not enough time for yourself, screen time, and social media dangers, but when I really think about it, the painful subject that comes to mind is witnessing the occasional mom-bashing. On the one hand, there is a lot of good camaraderie among us. But on the other hand, I've witnessed moms cheer each other on, but then behind closed doors, criticize that same person. Does it really matter how someone else is raising their kids or what personal goals that mom hits in her life? And if that woman is hitting goals, let's cheer her on, ladies! Let's raise the bar and genuinely support each other without the shadow of jealousy and gossip. What we are forgetting is that all of us mama bears, despite our differences, have the following in common:
We will raise our kids in our own unique way.
We are doing the best we can.
We love our children.
We don't want our kids to be bullied.
Hopefully, my answer is a reminder to us all and will inspire women to put aside their baggage and be nice. I once read somewhere that to shed negativity, give a compliment once a day to another woman, whether you know her or not, or like her or not. Believe it or not, it works and spreads confidence. We need more of this type of positivity for the sake of our mental health and the welfare of our children growing up together on the same Fork.
Q: In your opinion, what makes raising children on the North Fork unique?
Karen: Oh, it's awesome out here. Yearly, you'll get the question, “So, are you guys taking any big trips this summer?” And I usually answer the same: “There's no need to!” Maybe some local, tri-state outings, but here we have the beaches, the farm stands (a good chunk of them are fun for kids to visit), multiple villages and Main Streets to go to, and lots of family-friendly restaurants. But it is nice to stay in your own neighborhood in the summer and fall weekends because of traffic. If it's off-peak season, it's great that you don't have to travel more than half an hour anywhere out here to get to somewhere special.
Q: What role does nature play in raising your child(ren)?
Karen: My husband, Kareem, is the winemaker for both wineries (Paumanok and Palmer Vineyards) I work for, and it's a special feeling that the kids are being raised in the bounty of agriculture and understanding the importance and preciousness of the land. Kareem loves to take them on the tractor or harvester and take walks with them through the vineyard with our dog. Every year, we take photos of the kids picking grapes at harvest time, and it's so fun to compare those photos through the years, watching them grow. I think to myself how lucky they are to have what my daughter would call "a core memory.”
Q: What's your favorite recent thing that you've done with your children on the North Fork?
Karen: We took a hike at the Hallockville State Park Preserve, which is so peaceful and beautiful. We visited the Palmer Vineyards pizza truck to try out new recipes with their Papa and the Palmer staff. There, the kids had a blast trying the pizza, then got to run around in the field afterward. We went bowling at The All Star with their cousins — always a great time there.
Q: What's your children’s favorite thing you've recently done together on the North Fork?
Karen: I got my kids to answer this question, as I felt they would answer it best. Some we haven't done since last summer, but they insisted on including them!
“Magic Fountain, Indian Island Park, love to play on the Aquebogue Elementary School playground, The All Star bowling, their dad teaching them how to fish, golf lessons in summer.”
Iron Pier Beach in Jamesport. Always an appearance there from our favorite ice cream man, King of Cones! My kids are funny, they will pass on all the other ice cream trucks coming in just to wait for the King.
Q: What is one thing every kid should experience on the North Fork?
Karen: Greenport is always a huge hit. The town has something for everyone, and you can spend hours just walking around, eating, playing, and shopping. It was great when my kids were in strollers, and still holding just as strong at elementary age. Also, Orient State Park for playgrounds, water, sand, hikes, The Sunshine Shack snack bar in summer and fall with live music. You can spend all day there, my kids love it.
Q: It’s said that motherhood lasts long after we're gone — that it's the values that live within our children for their whole lives, too. What are some things that you hope your children carry with them forever?
Karen: I was a painfully shy and awkward kid in my elementary and early teen years and the one thing I pound into their brains coming from that experience, is teaching them how to speak up for themselves and others, not to leave any kid out, don't hurt their feelings and be a friend to everyone. It can be a challenge, especially when there are kids who don't act that way in return. I'm trying to show them how to confidently handle the situation by themselves without me helicoptering.
Another thing that comes to mind is navigating the digital age. This is an enormous task for parents. It is extremely difficult, especially since I am a Gen Xer and come from the ancient analog days. Now, here we are trying to constantly keep up with new apps, games — it's exhausting! I'm strict with chat boxes (that's a big NO on their game sites), who they talk to in messenger, and remind them always to be respectful and not get involved in trash talk. I hope growing up with these rules will help them to make smart and safe decisions as they grow into adulthood with the future digital platforms.
I hope they will always remember that hard work leads to success. Some think I'm nuts to take on challenging and time consuming things — like when I trained for the marathon, volunteering at my kids' school, baking endless amount of cookies at Christmastime — but when my kids see me do these things, I hope they will get involved with life just as much, get excited by it and do it for not only themselves but for the greater good.