Going Grateful
When I decided Petite North Fork would publish a piece on gratitude, I began brainstorming who the best expert on this subject could be. So many wonderful and inspiring North Fork community members came to mind, but I kept revisiting the thought that gratitude — specifically teaching it — is truly subjective.
Because of that, instead of picking the brain of a local thought leader, I decided I felt most comfortable sharing my own thoughts on raising grateful children. Take them or leave them, there are no right or wrong feelings here, only thoughts from a parent (me, hi!) probably not too dissimilar from yourself.
I think most would agree that there’s a larger focus on showing gratitude during the holiday season, beginning with Thanksgiving — a day dedicated to giving thanks. But it’s a bizarre thing really, to focus on exercising our thankful thoughts mainly during a holiday season, and one that’s usually synonymous with getting things, no less. If we’re being honest, this only perpetuates the exchange, placing value in the receiving and not the act of giving or simply just noticing.
Aaaaah, “just noticing.” If we think about what we’re thankful for in the simplest forms, that’s where we most easily find it, in the noticing. Instead of a transactional response to receiving, what if we flip thankful on its head and seek and notice moments and actions that make us feel most grateful? Gratitude then becomes less of a season and more of a practice.
Sure, your kids may not be able to find their shoes, water bottles, or anything physical that you ask them to. Still, I can nearly guarantee you that your kids notice more than we give them credit for, oftentimes easily picking up on nuances that we adults struggle with — the shift in sunset colors, a wordless invitation to play, the tone of a home.
Kids simply notice. So, now’s the time to rethink our approaches to gratitude and how we teach it. Let’s focus on the little moments, be thankful for kindness, and nature, and insignificant things that aren’t so insignificant after all.
As we share our gratitude with others, we may find ourselves in the giving spirit. Below are five local North Fork organizations that you and your families may choose to support this year. However, while I urge you to show your support, I also encourage you to talk with your kids about each of the organizations including what they do and how they support others and see what speaks most to your own kids. Making them a part of the decision teaches them far more about the act of giving than words alone ever could.
CAST (Center for Advocacy, Support and Transformation)
53930 Main Rd., Southold, 631-477-1717
Mission: Helping our community members in need.
1146 Main Road, Riverhead, 631-591-0759
Mission: To empower young children and arm them with the tools they need to thrive in today’s society.
54895 Main Rd., Southold, 631-765-6450
Mission: Protecting nature through education, conservation, and advocacy.
133 East Main St., Riverhead, 631-727-0900
Mission: Making the arts accessible to everyone.
North Fork Animal Welfare League
269 Peconic Lane, Peconic, 631- 765-1811
Mission: Providing a temporary safe space and care for rescued domestic animals.