Mom Club with Meaghan Howard
Meaghan Howard with her husband Erik and daughters Ruby (5) and Violet (7). (Photo courtesy of Meaghan Howard)
Meet Meaghan or simply “Meg” if you’re lucky enough to call her a friend. This native North Fork mom has a local heritage that dates back to the early 1800s. Born and raised on the North Fork, Meg understands better than most how special raising her children — daughters Violet, 7, and Ruby, 5 — on Eastern Long Island really is.
Q: Describe your parenting style in three words.
Meg: Creative, loving, mindful. Bonus word: sometimes “comically unhinged” because life is chaotic with two little girls!
Q: What is your favorite thing about motherhood?
Meg: I always felt in my heart and soul that I would be a girl mom. With both pregnancies, I just knew they would be girls, even though we waited to find out until they were born. I didn't even have any solid boy names picked out because it just didn't feel like we would need them. This all goes to say that I cannot get enough of all the girly fun that comes with raising two little ladies. They have such different personalities, but both of them never stray far from dresses with tulle skirts, big bows, and all things glittery. They love to match their outfits to one another, and we have SO much fun dressing up for themed events and parties (whether it's Taylor Swift night at The Suffolk or dressing up in our cowgirl best at the Hallockville Barn Dance). Anytime I get to engage with my girls in a creative way, I feel so lucky as a mom. Creativity is definitely where we thrive.
Q: What is your least favorite thing about motherhood?
Meg: My least favorite thing about motherhood is that feeling of being mentally and emotionally overstimulated in those moments of chaos when the girls are upset, hurt, or fighting with one another. The cacophony does something to scramble my brain and just makes me feel a bit helpless. Even if it is just a few seconds, it can sometimes feel like an eternity has passed for me to take a breath and get a hold of my big emotions so that I can help them manage their even bigger feelings. It's kind of just like that kick in the a** reminder that it's my job to show them the way through these tough situations, even if I myself, feel like curling up in a ball and crying. Parenting is tough stuff, friends!
Q: What would you change anything about motherhood?
Meg: If I could change anything about motherhood, it would be the way we communicate and support one another, as moms. I feel like there was so much I did not know about pregnancy, childbirth, the 4th trimester, and beyond that no one had ever taken the time to share with me. In my experience, it is that "fear of the unknown" that tends to weave the scariest narratives in my own mind, so I never want another mom to feel lost, scared, or alone, because I have certainly been there — I also kind of think it is a generational thing. Thankfully, modern moms seem much more willing to break the cycle of this "secret motherhood" behavior. We are always stronger together, we just have to remember that.
Q: Assuming you do, why do you think raising kids on the North Fork is unique?
Meg: I think raising kids on the North Fork is such a blessed experience that you can only truly understand if you have ever traveled elsewhere to see how other folks live. Anytime I go away and come back, I appreciate how good our family really has it here. We are surrounded by beautiful farms, wineries, beaches, incredible restaurants, and talented people. Where else can you take your kids to feed barnyard animals, watch them giggle as they slide down a farm chute on a potato sack while sharing a glass of local wine with a fellow mom friend, and then cross the street for some ice cream made with freshly picked, local berries? Oh, and then if you want to change up the scenery, you can drive five short minutes to one of our beautiful local beaches. It's a luxury to live here on the North Fork, where the scenery is as beautiful as the many kind people who are lucky enough to call this place home.
Q: What role does nature play in raising your kids?
Meg: I think it would be impossible to deny that nature is a big part of what makes raising a family on the North Fork so special. Our children have so many opportunities to get out there and engage with their community and the natural resources, we, as adults, can often overlook. When my kids do that whole, "Mooommmm, I'm borrreeddd" thing, we have so many options at our fingertips. Sure, we can send them out to their big backyard to play, but we can also hop in the car, head down the road, and feed the baby goats milk bottles at Goodale Farms, or go for a playdate at Harbes [Family Farm], or go looking for mermaids at Miamogue Beach. My favorite part about being lucky enough to raise our girls in nature is I can see how it has made them more empathetic, caring, and thoughtful individuals. They love and care for all animals. They look out for litterbugs. They create beautiful artwork with things they find in nature. It's really a one-of-a-kind experience.
Q: What's your favorite recent thing that you've done with your kids on the North Fork?
Meg: Recently, we went to the Annual Barn Dance at the beautiful Naugles Barn at Hallockville Museum Farm. While Ruby and I danced the night away to as many songs as we could, Violet spent her evening hanging with the massive and beautiful black and white cow they have next to the barn. We named her Bessie, and she even licked Erik's whole face, which cracked the girls up!
Q: What's your kids' favorite thing you've recently done together on the North Fork?
Meg: I just asked the girls, and they both excitedly replied, "SPLISH SPLASH!!!" because we happened to attend a birthday party at the waterpark recently. But I would also say they love all the farm-based activities the most. Anytime they can pick apples or pumpkins, feed some goats, or ride a pony, they are on cloud nine.
Q: What is one thing every kid should experience on the North Fork?
Meg: Every kid should experience the fall season on the North Fork. Yes, the traffic is brutal for us locals, but there is nothing better than flannel shirts, a hayride, and the smell of apple cider donuts on an October day. Maybe add some Woodside apple cider to the mix for the parents, and you have what I would call, a perfect autumn afternoon for the whole family. There is no season quite like the fall on the NoFo!
Q: It’s said that motherhood lasts long after we're gone — that it's the values that live within our kids for their whole lives, too. What are some things that you hope your kids carry with you forever?
Meg:
1) How much I love(d) them. (The kind of undeniable love that they feel all the way, deep into their bones. The kind of love that gives their soul a hug when they feel all alone and need that reminder the most.)
2) Gratitude for the life they have, and more importantly, I want them to feel moved by that gratitude to do something good for humanity. We are all so lucky to live this North Fork life, but living with that sense of luck and doing nothing to return that good out into the world, is merely entitlement. I want them to remember that not everyone is as lucky as they are and to give back in small and big ways, whenever they can.
3) Traditions. I want them to take the family traditions we have created and pass them down to the families they will one day build. It is a way to keep our memory alive so we can always be with them even when we are no longer here. I love the image of Violet and Ruby cracking confetti eggs over their own kids' heads and later, their grandchildren's heads, each Easter. (And now excuse me, while I go blot my tears.)
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