Mom Club with Sonia Spar
Sonia and her sons Noam and Jacob. (Photo courtesy of Sonia Spar)
Meet Sonia Spar — North Forker for 18 years, mother to sons Jacob (13) and Noam (8), and kick-a** teacher, activist, and all-around human. If you’re a North Fork resident, you likely know Sonia from her time teaching, working in Community Relations for the Town of Southold, or as Board President for Cornell Cooperative Extension of Suffolk County. This woman is on a mission, and we’re all better because of it. Read more as Sonia shares mothering on the North Fork with us in our monthly Mom Club, a Q&A with local North Fork moms. We hope this series inspires you and helps to make motherhood less intimidating and more inclusive. And the best part is, there’s no dress code or any other code, for that matter. All are welcome to join Mom Club just as you are.
Q: Describe your parenting style in three words.
Sonia: Coffee, caring, and supportive.
Q: What is your favorite thing about motherhood?
Sonia: Being witness to how these little humans discover the world and relate to it. How lucky I am that I get to guide them through these years of their life?
Q: What is your least favorite thing about motherhood?
Sonia: Knowing that one day they won’t need me to hold their hand as they fall asleep.
Q: Would you change anything about motherhood?
Sonia: The transition into motherhood is not easy. I wish that paid maternity leave for three months would be the norm, for everyone.
Q: Assuming you do, why do you think raising kids on the North Fork is unique?
Sonia: We feel so lucky to be in this area with all the farms, natural preserved land, and the waters surrounding us. I chose to live here because we believe kids thrive and learn life skills in the outdoors. We want them to learn how to care for our environment. We do beach clean-ups, help protect shore birds, and much more, and they love it — and there are many who help us learn how to do it along the way! It is a beautiful community.
Q: What role does nature play in raising your kids?
Sonia: The main one. Kids learn by playing and experimenting. Nature provides the space and the lesson. Nature encourages movement, spatial awareness, imagination, hands-on discovery, and experimentation. It builds resilience, independence, self-confidence, and self-awareness. I have seen its incredible effects as a teacher with my students and as a mother with my kids.
Q: What's your favorite recent thing that you've done with your kids on the North Fork?
Sonia: Be part of the North Fork Polar Bear Plunge Benefit supporting the community and the environment. My kids and I love rain, we know many don’t. They were surprised to witness so many people coming together and joyfully jumping into freezing waters. It was a happy and teachable moment.
Q: What's your kids' favorite thing you've recently done together on the North Fork?
Sonia: Going for walks to the beach, looking for treasures, rocks, shells, and beach glass, and hearing them talk about what they learn with their favorite outdoor educator, Ms. Jen (Jennifer Murray).
Q: What is one thing every kid should experience on the North Fork?
Sonia: Sailing!
Q: It’s said that motherhood lasts long after we're gone — that it's the values that live within our kids for their whole lives, too. What are some things that you hope your kids carry with you forever?
Sonia: 1. Love and care for nature as a way for self-caring and for their own wellness. 2. Be there for each other! Family, chosen or born into, is a priority. 3. Contribute to society in a meaningful way.
Also in Mom Club: