Mom Club with Stephanie Pincar-Coleman
Stephanie and her kids at Gingerbread University this month. (Photo courtesy of Stephanie Pincar-Coleman)
Meet Stephanie Pincar-Coleman — North Forker since 2008 and mother to Lena (9) and Joey (6). Stephanie, a full-time resident of Aquebogue, is currently working as a Care Manager while finishing her Master of Social Work, but as we moms know, our toughest yet most impactful work is done inside the four walls of our homes. Read more as Stephanie shares mothering on the North Fork with us in our inaugural Mom Club; a Q&A with local North Fork moms. We hope this series inspires you and helps to make motherhood less intimidating and more inclusive. And the best part is there’s no dress code or any other code for that matter. All are welcome to join Mom Club just as you are.
Q: Describe your parenting style in three words.
A: Empathetic, honest, progressive.
Q: What is your favorite thing about motherhood?
A: I love seeing my kids' reactions to things I've seen a million times before. For example, one day we drove past a rainbow and it was gorgeous to me but it was the first time Joey had ever seen one and to see his reaction made it even more special. I also love it when my kids teach me something new, it's usually something nature-related.
Q: What is your least favorite thing about motherhood?
A: The mental load of parenting. Between my university calendar, my husband's school district calendar, and the kids' school, we have four school calendars to follow and they do not always line up. I'm grateful I have a partner that takes on parenting in an equitable way but it's still a lot to manage.
Q: What would you change about motherhood?
A: Family leave. I have friends (male and female) in other countries who can spend much more time at home with their children at birth. They've been able to lean into parenthood in ways that I felt challenged to do being that I was running a business and my partner was working too.
Q: Assuming you do, why do you think raising kids on the North Fork is so wonderful?
A: Nature is our playground. We're a four-season nature family. You'll find our family hiking or visiting the local beaches all year round. When closures were going on for the pandemic we bundled up every day and went to the beach. My husband and I started winter swimming last year with the North Fork Polar Bears and it's been incredible for me to see how the water changes daily. My kids have gotten into supporting us swimming and they're often teaching us about the creatures and shells we find on the beach because they've learned all about it at their school, Peconic Community School.
Q: What role does nature play in raising your kids?
A: We live life outside. Rain? Go splash in a puddle. Heat? Turn on the hose or head to the beach. That's not to say that we're not struggling against technology like most families but we make it a point to get outside. On days when I'm studying for exams, my kids have set up picnic blankets on the front lawn and played while I sat in a beach chair studying. Our kids' school also goes outside every day no matter what so we live by the weather report and make sure they always have the right gear.
Q: What's your favorite recent thing that you've done with your kids on the North Fork?
A: Gingerbread University! What a magical experience. We met Gingerbread Fred, laughed, and decorated. And without any prompting, Lena and Joey kept saying how grateful they were that we went.
Q: What's your kids' favorite thing you've recently done together on the North Fork?
A: Lena votes for Scott's Pointe! The rock climbing walls were challenging but entertaining. I liked that there was something for kids of most ages and I found myself having fun, too. Laser tag, climbing wall, you name it, I did it and had a blast. We're looking forward to the outdoor obstacle course opening in warmer weather in 2024.
Q: What is one thing every kid should experience on the North Fork?
A: This is so hard! There's something about hiking at Hallock State Park that we just love. There's different terrain in such a short hike — sand, gravel, grass — and then you turn a corner and there are enormous dunes. We often take family there when they visit. The best part is when you're done you can look for beach glass down along the Long Island Sound.
Q: They say that motherhood lasts long after we're gone — that it's the values that live within our kids for their whole lives, too. What are some things that you hope your kids carry with you forever?
A: Similar to my first answer… empathy and honesty.